So, I tried to get the gumption to paint again, but the past couple days I've just rested. Too much going on I guess. I've got to work on preparing all the things I've painted (I tend to just work and set them aside...), and I'm getting ready to fly to my parents house in Oklahoma to see how they are doing after the news we got about my dad. My daughter and her hubby are going too, so it will be good to see them as well. I hear we are building a retaining wall...haven't done that yet...so it will be a learning experience. I'm glad to be able to DO something for my parents though.
I have to admit I've been thinking a lot about the changes women go through in their lives. I suppose men do as well, but not being one I only know to speak about women. We are young and we fall in love and then God prepares us to have children and we do, and that is a change...everything is about our children. The fierce protectiveness (I'm thinking about my friend Jane Hunt right now...how hard things are for her). We will do anything to keep our children from hurting. Then, before we know it we have to somehow let them go from our lives and let them grow up. We STILL feel the same, so the letting go is HARD. The things they go through as they grow up are harder to help them with, but we still feel their pain.
I've said it before, and I've heard it before and tend to agree...a mother is only as happy as her least happy child. Oh those emotions! And then we get older and there are changes...another passage. And, now the one I'm in...dealing with the mortality of our parents. I don't know how long God will give my dad, but I think about him when I was little, and how beautiful he is now, how fragile. This passage is about me taking care of THEM like they did me when I was little. And...letting go of them a little. I think it is only natural, but I'm fighting it. I want it to be like it was. Ahhh life! I think I'm fighting a little depression, and fighting that I feel it and can't just snap out of it. Arrrggghhh! I guess it will move into some sort of acceptance and then I'll get busy doing what is important. Perhaps we shouldn't fight the feelings. I do though...just like a little kid!
So, no painting. but I wanted to share something beautiful just the same. Anyone that wants to use this can...like all the photos I post. I believe in sharing. So, anyone who feels inspired...have at it! These flowers are from my latest trip to the Botanic Gardens. They're cone flowers I think. Anyone know?? Happy Painting to you all!
6 comments:
All the best with your dad Saundra and my little philosophy is that you need to be depressed to be happy again, so depression is necessary, just know that it will pass.
I remember when I lost my dad, Saundra. He passed away at the age of 47 from lung cancer. I was just shy of 25 at the time. I still cry for my daddy. My mom and I had a conversation about this same thing recently. She is 68. Alas, I do not think she will be around for too much longer. She's had two bouts with bladder cancer now and will not give up smoking. She has a myriad of health issues...Somehow, some way, I seem to have moved into acceptance of the inevitable. It is truly the natural order of things. I couldn't say the same if it were one of my children though. That all said, I am so glad you are able to go home and spend time with your parents and your daughter. Building a retaining wall may be just the ticket! Thank you for the drop of beauty this morning.
Oh, Saundra - I'm so sorry. I'm glad you'll be able to spend some time together soon. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and sending much love.
Those are coneflowers - they're lovely!
Thanks you all for the supportive thoughts! And Jane, thanks for helping me be sure of the name...:) As life goes, I wake up today with new energy, and not so down...YIPEE!
I don't have children so can't relate to that except thru the love I have of my fur babies. But my parents are getting more and more fragile daily and I realize their time here is getting shorter. It's so hard to think of life with them not in it. God bless you and have a great visit and safe trip.
Thank you Jeanne! I plan to make this trip FUN!
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